Fast Forward Five Years

Update
Wow - fast forward five years. I am now sitting here with THREE boys 6.5, 4, and 1. Life is incredibly different, yet kind of the same.

My kids are freakin' adorable. They are silly, smart, and oh so loving. I am told that I am loved at least 15 times a day. My youngest just turned one. Needless to say it came as a bit of a surprise. My husband and I were trying to decide between a puppy or a baby. A puppy won, or so we thought. Regardless, life is blessed. Honestly, I hate it when poeple use that term, "blessed". Mainly because it's over used. Everything is blessed. So I recant that word. I am lucky. I am so lucky and I know it.

Big Changes
Obviously the changes in family size is probably the most noteworthy. It's funny how having a family of five feels so much more like a real family. Not to say that families of four or three are not, but there's something about a gaggle of kids that makes you feel like you are a part of something bigger.

The biggest change our little family has had is our Daddy becoming an EMT and soon a Paramedic. For the mommies out there - I got a man in uniform (not like TSA, but like Firefighter). My husband literally transformed over night. He went from being frustrated, depressed, and kinda angry to a man with a goal - and that goal is to save lives. It's kind of incredible. He is teaching my boys so much. He has demonstrated that life is about change and growth. That you can't move forward if you're complacent. He is teaching them that helping others is the most important thing. I feel very lucky (notice I didn't use the word blessed) to have him. There was a time when I was certain we weren't going to make it, but we did... for now ;)


So the Blog
Not sure what direction this will take. I am going to compare it to my favorite teenage book, "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret", but for grown ups. Just roll with it, it might be fun!

Oh Mama... Where to start

2010
So this is new to me as of five minutes ago, literally. That being said I am becoming a blogger. What the f*&#, when did this happen? I am a Mom of 1.5, the second due in two and half months- oh shit, and I am sitting here brainstorming on how to make extra cash for when I am on maternity leave so I don't have to go to back to work. Seriously, I couldn't be more frustrated in trying to figure out how to legitimately work from home. Everything seems like a scam, I don't want to sell stuff to my broke ass friends and family, and I am not going to pay 200 bucks to start my dream job of data processing. What is a girl to do?

I guess I should start with who I am. I'm a 35 yr. old lady (obviously, due to pregnancy comment earlier), married... blah blah blah. Somewhere along the way, I've turned painfully ordinary. I used to be so cool (I think). I backpacked alone through Western Europe, loved and lost, attained a BS in Women Studies, worked on political and social campaigns, slung food and drink FOREVER, have met and partied with the coolest people, and I live in the best city in the US, Portland, OR. I am a true Oregonian and damn proud of it. I have lived in the politically green state of OR since I was 5 yrs. old, but have lived in the Pac NW all my life. Raised in a small coastal town, college in the valley, adult life in PDX. I really am quite happy. I've rejected the nine to five job for as long as I can remember, which is why I have been stuck in the restaurant biz for so long. But living in Portland, restaurant work is a career. We are foodies here, we love to eat and drink and talk about it. There are days I have 30 bucks to my name, and I choose to go out to eat. Not the smartest, but the Portland way.

Here, if you have a job and a place to live, you're doin' well. I have a job, own a home, bought my new dream mommy car, I guess I'm doing pretty well. But c'mon, life is a bitch, and so am I. I need to vent and bullshit about this ordinary life. I need to know, or at least remind myself that I am fun, sarcastic, witty, and fucking desirable to people outside my Husband and beautiful two and half year old boy. Hopefully this blog will at least allow me the feeling that I am talking to someone other than the two just mentioned, and that they find me hilarious. I realize this is probably just to be read by me, and perhaps my Hubs if I ever share it, but most likely I won't.

Where to start in this journey of sarcasm and wit? Hopefully it will come to me as this progresses. Mostly I am sure I will bitch about my husband and the stupid people who dare dance before me at work. Currently, I wait tables a couple of days a week at a great restaurant in NW Portland. It's pretty well known as it's been around for over 15 yrs, which says a lot about any restaurant - especially here as a new spot opens weekly. I actually like where I work despite the bullshit. I've realized there will always be bullshit no matter where you go, it's just a matter of whether you can handle this particular shit or not. I feel the same way about my Husband. A great guy, really. Most my friends are jealous as he's sweet, sincere, funny, liberal, kinda whacky, and devoted. I'll say his one negative aspect is his lack of direction when it comes to career, but I don't fault him for that. I'd rather have a man who has some love and life in his direction then money and fiscal success. Plus, he's a great dad. Totally hands on. After being together for almost 11 years, I have to say I was totally in awe of what a great Daddy he is. It's amazing. But trust me, he's still just a man... Need I say more?!

So I am 28 weeks preggers right now. I'm pretty much over it. I am tired of peeing every three minutes, tired of peeing because I coughed, and tired of how annoying people are about being pregnant. They either don't have a clue and think you can still do all the things you could due prior to the bundle of joy residing in your gut, or they are so overly protective that you want to bitch slap someone for thinking you can't take care of yourself - oh wait, that doesn't really happen to me. Most are just insensitive fuckers who annoy me. I'm kinda over it if you can't tell, but I am not ready to have a newborn yet either. I love my sleep, I just got it back for the most part, and now it's going to be gone again for at least another year or so.

So perhaps not the most enlightening or exciting entry, but it's a start considering 30 minutes ago I had no intention of ever doing this. Hopefully tomorrow I will be totally inspired and will have something incredible to share. But probably not!

Goodnight all, sleep well.